


Rebirth, Seeing You Again

by animelaina



Series: A Second Chance, A Second Lifetime With You [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feels, Insecure Tony, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 07:38:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13231050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animelaina/pseuds/animelaina
Summary: After Tony dies, he is sent to another universe, where he sees Steve again, and falls for him again. Continued from Dying, Leaving You, which needs to be read before this one.





	Rebirth, Seeing You Again

Tony wasn’t really sure what would happen after death. Anything would be better than having to go back home and have Steve berate him over Ultron or Wanda or his feelings for him though.

He opened his eyes, and was surprised by what he saw.

He was in his suit, lying on the ground, and Chitauri debris surrounded him. The Avengers were all huddled around him, but frozen, as if time stopped all around him. His head rang, and he wasn’t sure if this was some post-death hallucination that occurred in the last few minutes of brain activity. What was going on?

JARVIS suddenly came online, rattling off about details from the assessment of Tony’s injuries. Tony felt a surge of relief that came with JARVIS – FRIDAY just didn’t feel the same.

The relief vanished really quickly as he looked up and saw those blue eyes he fell so hard for looking at him. Fear loomed within him and he felt himself panicking he couldn’t look at Steve without thinking about how he accidentally confessed in a moment of anger and said things that he could never take back. He wanted to run, power up the suit to fly so far away that he would never see that perfect chiseled face again.

He sat up quickly, and Steve moved backwards a little, concern written all over his face. Tony studied Steve’s grime-covered battle look, and was surprised to actually see tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

 _Now that I’ve got a second chance at life, a second chance at going through this again, I swear to God I will never ever fall for Steve fucking Rogers again. I don’t want to build up an entire friendship and watch it fall apart as he ends up not believing me, not standing on my side, and hating me. I’ll get the fuck out before that happens,_ Tony thought to himself.

Tony looked away. If he stared into those eyes another second longer, he would fall. Again. This time, he was determined to not let Rogers break the iron he set up around his heart to stop it from being broken. He took the faceplate off, and was prepared to stand up and dust his knees off until –

Until Steve pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

“Jesus, Tony, I fucking thought -,” Steve choked up, “I fucking thought you died. I thought you were leaving me behind and I’m so fucking sorry for all the shit that I said when we first met. I said that you weren’t the guy to make the sacrifice play, you would only fight for yourself, you would never lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you. I said all that shit and I never really apologised for it and now I’m rambling like you and you nearly sacrificed yourself to save all of us and I was so close to actually losing you.”

Steve breathed heavily into Tony’s ear, holding him close, and Tony felt that same tug at his heart. _Oh shit, I’m in big trouble, I’m falling again, so much for being a genius playboy, what the hell is it about this boring Steve that I actually like so much, let me go, I don’t want to fall anymore._ He didn’t make any move to push Steve off though, and Steve ran his fingers through Tony’s dark curls, pulling him closer.

Tony could smell his scent, even post-battle he still smelled as good as ever. His hands were so big and warm, holding him tight. His face was nuzzled into his Captain’s blond hair, and he half thought that it wouldn’t be too bad to stay like this forever.

Steve pulled away from him slightly, and gazed into his eyes, strong hands cupping Tony’s neck, lips parted ever so slightly. Both were breathing heavily, oblivious of the rest of the team still standing around them. It was far from a romantic scenario, and chaos was erupting all around them, as the damage was being assessed and there were lives being saved, but only each other mattered the most in those few seconds. He leaned in really slowly, glancing at Tony’s lips until their mouths were a few centimetres apart.

Tony decided that he had to walk away, from this, _now._

He pushed Steve away gently, and stood up. Steve was still kneeling on the floor, looking up at him, dazed.

“Tony, what’s wrong?”

“Sir is having a concussion, and perhaps needs more rest, Mister Rogers,” JARVIS replied evenly for Tony, who was lost in his emotions as he absently fidgeted with some details on the suit.

“Oh,” Steve replied, a hint of disappointment in his voice, which startled Tony.

“I – actually need to find Reed Richards – about something that happened up there, and I need to understand some things,” Tony replied shortly. Hearing that disappointment just wrecked Tony more than he already was. 

Steve grabbed his wrist, and Tony could nearly hear his heart shatter as the way he held his wrist was exactly the same as when he defended Wanda and it was too much for him to take in. He couldn’t bear to hear some more cutting words and have more reminders of how Steve never liked him back and chose to blame him for everything that happened. 

“I’ll go with you,” Steve offered. 

Well, that was surprising. He never really recalled this entire sequence happening, what with Steve hugging him and all. It would have been something etched deeply in his memory – but instead his mind insisted all this had never happened.

“No, it’s alright, I just need some time off,” Tony replied quickly before powering up the blasters on the soles of the suit and flying off to Baxter Building, leaving his faceplate on the hard gravel where Steve picked it up sadly.

 

***

 

He walked into the drab building, to see Reed bent over his precious machines and mumbling things to himself, as usual. His clothes were buttoned wrongly and had either food spillover or some soil from other dimensions splattered on his pants. After waiting for 2 minutes, Reed still hadn’t noticed that he entered the building, so Tony cleared his throat.

Reed looked up. “To what do I owe the pleasure, Tony? You can’t be here to just do science for fun like a normal human being after all the mess that just happened with Loki.” He peered behind Tony, looking expectantly. “Where’s Steve, Tony? Heard you guys were inseparable or something.”

_Steve? What?_

“Steve and I aren’t that close, Reed,” Tony replied.

“Is that so? Ah, maybe Sue told me some wrong information again. Anyway, what are you here for?”

 “I’m here, because I think I either travelled back in time or travelled to another universe. You know, the multiverse theory.”

 It was that sentence that finally caught Reed’s attention for real, and he stopped fidgeting with his machines.

 “What? Why do you think so?”

 “So the thing is, either very far in the future or in some other dimension, I fought with Steve,” Tony said carefully, deciding to avoid mentioning the fact he created Ultron. “Anyway, I got knocked over by a car and I couldn’t call my suit in time, and then when I woke up I was on the ground. I probably fell out of the big portal in the sky, based on what I remembered from in my past, or previous dimension.” 

“Hm. Interesting. Is there anything different from this time and that time?”

“The same event happened, there’s still Loki destroying the world and everything… but things went differently – some minor details changed. 

_The detail where Steve hugged me and seemed like he actually wanted me around, that’s what._

“For now, I still can’t be sure. However, I have something handy here that can tell if an object is from this dimension, or another dimension,” Reed said excitedly.

“Okay, I need to know so test it out on me,” Tony replied.

“Well, it doesn’t work on biological beings and alive cells… Did you bring anything over by chance? Actually, that shouldn’t be quite possible, as my theory is that only your physical self was brought over, rather than your clothes or any other objects, assuming you’re from another dimension.”

“I don’t think so, when I woke up I was just there and I was pretty confused and shaken,” Tony said as he looked at his hand, before realising that the shard from the porcelain glass that was embedded in his hand was still there.

“Oh, I broke a cup in my anger and there’s actually a piece of it here, stuck in my hand.”

“Good, good, we can run the experiment now!” Reed rubbed his hands together with anticipation.

Tony sat around with a cup of coffee held with his metal fingers as he waited for the experiment results. The coffee was thin and watery, and did nothing to appease his need for coffee or the sadness that was still swirling around at the back of his mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about how the Steve in his dimension hated him, after all that happened. And that he left on such a bad note.

He wasn’t so sure he wanted to be alive at all.

He didn’t even noticed that he dozed off on the drab couch in a dark corner of Reed’s lab, until he felt Reed shaking him roughly awake. “Anthony Edward Stark, how the hell did you manage that interdimensional travel? Amazing. This is amazing, assuming that my machine didn’t test wrongly, but the probability of that is only 0.0356%. Amazing.”

Reed was laughing to himself, insanely happy that there was such a breakthrough and he could get extra data from that tiny shard of porcelain.

Tony wasn’t elated though. His head hurt, and he wasn’t sure what to do, now that he found out this wasn’t his dimension. He thought about the fact that he didn’t meet the alternate version of himself in this world, which meant that _the Tony of this world must have died in Chitauri space_. He thought about Steve, and how he didn’t want to see him anymore, but he also missed that hug that Steve gave. 

Without saying anything to Reed, he got up, and walked towards the door, while Reed anxiously chased after him, asking for more precious porcelain shards so that he could possibly get another scientific breakthrough. Most of what Reed was mumbling faded off into nothing, as he was lost in his thoughts.

What shook him successfully out of his thoughts was the fact that Steve was standing outside the door, in the rain, looking like a lost golden retriever puppy.

“Hey,” Steve breathed out as he smiled, even while drenched to the bone. His white t shirt stuck to his chest, showing off his impressive body that just distracted Tony even further.

 _Go away. I don’t want to see you. I'm too embarrassed to see you. Don’t make me believe that you could be in love with me again, because that’s the stupidest lie ever and I can’t bear to have my feelings toyed with again._

He brushed past Steve, and walked straight out into the rain. Water pattered down on him harshly.

_Everything in life is harsh._

“You left your faceplate there,” Steve said shyly, with a tint of worry.

“Thanks,” Tony said gruffly, and he began to walk away, not sure where he was even going.

“Tony,” Steve shouted. There was no anger in it though, only some kind of wistfulness, or melancholy. Tony stopped walking, and he didn’t know what to do. He wished his heart would stop feeling like it wanted to jump out of the arc reactor, for Steve.

_No more mistakes._

_This new life was given to me for a reason. Another shot at staying alive, another shot at not getting hurt and I’m not throwing it away for Steve._

“Tony, please, talk to me. I don’t know what the hell happened up there, but I’m really worried and you’re being so cold to me. Talk to me, please. I’m always here for you," Steve pleaded, striding forward to stand in front of Tony.

“I’m not going to be tricked with the ‘I’m always here for you’ kind of nonsense again. Not this time,” Tony barked out. His mind was already replaying a scene, from the other dimension.

_Steve back in the other dimension had acted like we were family. Promised that no matter what, he would always be on my side. Said he saw the goodness in me after that sacrifice act, and that he would always believe in me, believe that my heart is in the right place._

_He promised that he would always be here for me, too._

_What happened after that?_

_I was so scared of losing him, and I built a giant ass robot to try and protect him and it all fucked up. It all messed up and I broke the trust he had in me. He believed Wanda over me. I know it’s my fault, but it still hurts because he broke promises, too._

“I don’t know if anyone’s ever promised to be there for you and broken it, but I won’t. I promise you I won’t,” Steve grabbed Tony’s metal alloy fingers in his own large warm hands. 

_Promises mean nothing, Steve. Even if they’re from you, and you’re probably the most trustworthy person on the planet. It’s not the same Steve, I know, you’re another Steve, and you might be able to keep your promise, but there’s no place in my heart to trust anymore._

Steve leaned in, and pressed his own lips to Tony’s. They were so warm, in contrast to the cold rainwater evaporating off his skin. So warm, they were melting the ice around Tony’s heart. Tony felt this dull ache at his arc reactor – he wanted to push Steve away, but he wanted more. So he just stood there, and let Steve kiss him, slowly, softly. He let Steve take away all his troubles with every single contact.

 Before he even realised it, he found tears falling from his eyes, and he couldn't even stop it.

_All of this is just a dream, and on the day Steve finally breaks his promises, it will be time for me to wake up._

Steve finally pulled away, leaving his lips a few inches away from Tony’s own, and he saw the tears falling from his eyes. He wiped the tears away slowly from Tony’s face with his thumbs.

“I got a chance to start over, and I still walk down the same path of falling in love with you. I just can’t help falling in love with you. Help me,” Tony choked out, “I can’t do this. I don’t want to. I’m scared. You make me crazy. I just fall for you, again and again, and it’s like an abyss that I can’t escape. Some kind of black hole. The ones that spaghettify people and stretch you out. It’s stretching me out and I’m tired of loving you so much. I can’t escape.”

“Then don’t,” Steve whispered against his lips. “Don’t escape. Just fall, for I will catch you. I promise.”

_I don’t want to wake up from this dream._

Tony hugged Steve tightly, as he let the tears fall freely. The street was empty except for them, and the rain continued to hit the gravel relentlessly. He buried his face in the blond’s neck. It felt nice to be held while he was panicking. It felt nice to be loved, and he needed that.

_You promise you will catch me. Don’t break it, please, Steve, please. Don’t make me push you away again._

***

 

The birds were chirping loudly outside Stark tower, as soft sunlight streamed in through the full-length windows. For the first time in a long while, Tony had a dreamless night and a refreshing sleep. He turned around to face Steve, who was stirring awake next to him. Steve had an arm slung around Tony protectively, and it brought up feelings of love and excitement in Tony’s heart that he thought he was incapable of.

“How was your sleep, Tony?” Steve slurred, half awake.

 “Great, no nightmares,” Tony replied quietly.

“Me too,” Steve replied with a lopsided smile. “I’m so glad that I don’t have that recurring nightmare anymore now that you’re in my arms through the night.”

“What recurring nightmare?" 

“Just a nightmare that I lost you,” he whispered. “I dreamt that you built some crazy massacre robot because you thought I might die and you wanted to protect me. I didn’t know that though, so I thought you weren’t taking the lives of civilians seriously and just messing around with robots that you didn’t understand. I was disappointed and the thing was, after that, I didn’t even bother to talk to you. I didn’t think about why you did it, I just assumed that you were arrogant, and I loved you but I didn’t want to tell you, because I didn’t want to be with someone who couldn’t take superhero-ing seriously.”

Steve took a deep breath.

“I didn’t trust you and I didn’t have the courage to tell you I loved you, and we fought, and you said you loved me, you told me the reason and – I wanted to tell you I loved you too, but I don’t know why, I hesitated, fuck, I killed you, Tony, I killed you -,” Steve was more unhinged than Tony had ever seen. 

_Steve loved me, even then. He never hated me like I thought he did, and I just assumed he broke his promise when I never even bothered to explain my side of the story about Ultron. He had no faith in me, but I had no faith in him as well._

“I fucking killed you because I couldn’t get my shit together and tell you I fucking loved the shit out of you. I saw you die right in front of my eyes, and I couldn’t even do anything. So much for being fucking Captain America. I held your dead body and regretted so much that I never actually told you how I felt,” Steve finished softly, with so much sadness in his eyes that Tony wanted to kiss him and never let him go.

Which he did.

Tony kissed him. He was kissing a person with so much fire and passion, but it felt more like the rain from yesterday – melancholic, but there was hope for a rainbow after the storm. 

“It’s okay, Steve, you’re here and I’m here, and we’re not going to lose each other,” Tony said gently.

“The dream – it was the reason I finally told you how I felt. It’s the reason that even if you run away from me and hide in Reed’s office, I would find you. I would chase you to the ends of the world and at least tell you that I love you, because the one time I didn’t do that? I lost the only man I love.”

 _Steve didn’t want to lose him. Steve loved him._ That was all Tony needed to know.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Well that's the end of this two-part fic! Personally liked the second part more than the first part, but both are written while I'm pretty tired and I didn't proofread so there might be mistakes. Leave a kudos or a comment if you liked the fic! I love comments hahaha. I had a playlist for this, songs that inspired this piece of work but it's in Chinese cos that's technically my mother tongue so I won't be attaching the playlist here. Also, if anyone's wondering what happened in the other universe, which is Tony's original one, he died and Steve was just like sad forever. There


End file.
